


Beautiful Liar

by akatsuki_tsukiyomi (Yumi25Nakashima)



Series: First Blush [13]
Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Break Up, Break Up Talk, Emotional Hurt, F/M, Hetalia Countries Using Human Names, Internal Conflict, Post-Break Up, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-04
Updated: 2021-01-04
Packaged: 2021-03-14 09:28:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28543317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yumi25Nakashima/pseuds/akatsuki_tsukiyomi
Summary: I’m letting go of your hands but my heart is still the sameI think it’s best for you if I end it right hereThis is a beautiful lie, my last lieEven if it hurts to death, I am hiding myself under a mask for you
Relationships: Japan (Hetalia)/Reader
Series: First Blush [13]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2089500
Kudos: 4





	Beautiful Liar

**Author's Note:**

> (F/N) - Reader's First Name  
> (L/N) - Reader's Last Name  
> Honda Kiku - Japan's official human name  
> Feliciano Vargas - North Italy's official human name  
> Ludwig - Germany's official human name
> 
> This was inspired by VIXX LR's song Beautiful Liar. The lyrics suit the one shot and actually add to the story, so listening to it/checking out the lyrics would help in understanding the storyline.

"I'm sorry. I just can't do this anymore," The girl said softly, her gaze cast on the snow-filled ground. Kiku's breath caught in his throat at her words. Only a moment ago, they had been walking home together from their impromptu dinner date at one of (F/n)'s favourite cafes, and now she had stopped walking and stated that she wanted to break up with him. He was frozen in place as he stared at his girlfriend who was still avoiding his eyes. "What?"

(F/n) let out a small sigh and watched the passersby on the other side of the street quietly. The snow fell gently over them, coating the place in a sprinkle of cold white powder. Kiku waited for her to answer but he was only met with her silence.

"(F/n)-san, what are you trying to say? Do you want to take a short break? We could, we could go on a weekend in the countryside, we could spend more time together, we," He trailed off as she looked up at him with sad eyes. 

He had no idea why she suddenly wanted to break up. They had never had any problems in their seven-month relationship before, at least _he_ knew that they had no problems. Kiku was starting to think that they could actually last; that he could actually get to keep someone he used to only dream to have in his life.

"(F/n)-san?"

"I wish I could say that it's not you that's the problem—that it's me—but I can't. I'm sorry," she said again, her brows furrowing even more as she bit her lip. The brown-eyed man was still left speechless as he opened his mouth to say something only to close it again when his mind couldn't come to form any coherent speech. He simply stared at her, almost unblinking, and watched as the snow softly danced with the cold winter wind and land on the beautiful locks of her hair. 

**_Why? We were fine — we_** are ** _fine, so why? I'm the problem?_**

"I don't understand you, Kiku. I thought that maybe you'd open up to me the more we dated. I was wrong. We've been together for already a year but I don't know you any better than I did from when we met. I don't feel held by you. I don't feel you. It's like I'm not even dating anyone with how passive you are. I know I shouldn't be picking on something as trivial as that and it makes me sound self-righteous but I guess I thought you'd let me in, of all people, at least." Her voice was shaking.

**_Then let's talk this out. Tell me how to fix this and I'll do it. Just don't leave me, (F/n). Don't leave me._ **

"Is that how you really feel?" Kiku asked, his calm voice filling the silence. Her eyes filled with confusion and frustration at the question but she bit her lip again. She almost said something on impulse; something she was likely to regret later on. Kiku knew that she always bit her lip to stop herself from being reckless, she had even told him that herself during one of their heartfelt talks. Instead of speaking, she simply nodded, almost reluctantly, "yes."

 ** _No. It can't be. Tell me that's not true. Please, tell me you're just joking. This_** has ** _to be a joke, right? You're just pulling my leg again, aren't you?_**

Gritting her teeth, (F/n) held back her tears at his silence. She looked into his eyes, they were as monotonous as ever, hiding his thoughts from her. After a minute of nerve-wracking staring, she finally found the strength to turn away from his questioning eyes that seemed to look right into her soul. She adjusted the strap of her bag on her shoulder and let out a shaky breath. 

"This is goodbye then."

**_No. No, this isn't goodbye. We can fix this, please don't turn away. (F/n), look at me, we can make this work. Just don't go, okay? Please don't leave._ **

Closing her eyes to compose herself, (F/n) turned her back towards the stone-faced man and waited for his reply.

"... _Sayonara_ ," **Goodbye** he mumbled into the wind. A sharp pang of pain struck his heart when he heard himself say that, and another sharp pain surged through him as he saw his beloved flinch with his response.

**_I didn't mean it. Don't walk away, don't leave me. I'm so sorry, I didn't mean it. Come back. Come back. I'll make things right, I swear. Don't walk away._ **

Kiku twitched as the voice in his head started screaming at him.

 ** _What are you doing,_** teme ** _?! Chase after her you idiot! Go! Move your damned legs and chase after her! Move! Why won't you move?!_** (B*****d)

He stayed rooted to his place, his fingertips twitching as he battled with himself. She was getting farther away. She wasn't looking ba--

His eyes widened slightly as (F/n) peered over her shoulder. She was crying.

**_Run, dammit! Use your feet and run! Tell her you love her, make things right! Why are you still standing there?!_ **

He simply looked off to the side.

**_No, no, no, idiot! Moron!_ ** ****

As the voice in his head shrieked insults, he simply squeezed his hands into fists. (F/n) turned away from him again, this time she was sobbing into her hands. The sound of her sniffles and whimpers only fueled his anger towards himself.

Kiku raised his head, ready to run after the girl he loved, but she was already so far away. Just when he found the willpower to take a step towards her, she had turned the corner.

"(F/n)," he weakly called out. But he was too late.

_She loves him more than he'll ever know, and he loves her more than he'll ever show. What a tragedy_. ( - Pierre Jeanty)

**\---**

**_Omake_ **

Kiku half-heartedly tuned in to the lecture Ludwig was giving Feliciano for the umpteenth time that day. The Italian was frantically nodding his head, apologetic to his blond friend who was fuming and turning slightly pink in frustration. The two were a few paces ahead of Kiku who was busy gazing at the falling snow and nuzzling his cold nose into the thick woollen warmth of his scarf.

His companions quietened down a few moments later and all they could hear was the soft crunching of snow under their boots as they strolled down the streets illuminated ever so slightly by the dim yellowish street lamps and the first sun rays of dawn. Feliciano let out a drawled out yawn, stretching his arms over his head as far as he could and let his head tip back to turn his gaze up to the sky.

"Early morning walks are good," Ludwig commented quietly, sipping his strong brew of coffee. Kiku let out a small sound in agreement. "Speaking of walks, didn't (F/n) like jogging at dawn?"

The Japanese man turned his eyes away from the horizon at Ludwig's question and let a pregnant pause ensue.

"I used to jog with (F/n) before," Feliciano interjected happily, unable to read the mood. He smiled proudly as if waiting for someone to praise him at the news of his productiveness.

"Mm, _ja,_ but anyway, have you heard from her lately?" **yes** The German asked, ignoring Feliciano's prior announcement. Kiku's brows came together in both confusion and slight vexation.

"No."

Humming to himself, Ludwig took another sip from his coffee and rubbed his thumb against the surface of the paper cup thoughtfully.

"That happens. There is a saying from where I come from. _Aller Anfang ist schwer_. The both of you vill talk someday. Just give her and yourself some time." **All beginnings are hard**. Kiku wanted to laugh but only managed a bitter smile that his friends failed to see.

**_Such wonderful words of wisdom, my friend. But I'm afraid it's all too late for that._ **

"Moving on is a painful process."

**_Moving on?_ **

"... _Hai."_ **Yes**

**_It'll take me more than a lifetime to move on from her._ **

"I'll get through it."

**_No, I won't._ **

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally published in Wattpad on Feb 15, 2018.


End file.
